We haven’t seen the sun here in Minnesota in days. The past week has been filled with cloud cover, rainfall, and unseasonably chilly air. Some places in the world inspire quiet introspection in the rain – here it’s just frustrating. My motivation leaks down the gutter as I miss training runs, hit snooze, and let the dishes and writing projects pile up. Unfortunately, I can’t blame the rain entirely for my creative and motivational slump.
However, things are looking up!
Today’s been the first day in quite awhile that I’ve felt excitement to create. A quiet glimmering buzz grows in the back of my mind and the pit of my stomach as I savor this valuable time to become re-inspired.
My girlfriend is at home with the baby and my sick sleeping husband. She offered to help out so I could get a break. I’m too embarrassed to admit that I’m using this free time to come write at a coffee shop because I still don’t fully see the part of me that writes as legitimate.
It’s easier to say I’ll run errands. But who knows, maybe today I’ll come clean. “Thanks for watching him so I could get some writing done!”
My inspiration buzz is encouraged by my hot cappuccino and this beautiful essay about the intersection of creating musical art and the written word. I read an uplifting interview with an artist who happens to be a mother of four and travels the country taking beautiful photographs of families. I meticulously note several possible open submissions possibilities and compile a list of non-writing creativity exercises to complete this upcoming week.
It’s not always easy to have patience with myself when I sit down to write and nothing comes out, or when yet another friendly rejection pops into my email. I’ve only been writing again for a few months and I have to remember that just like any other pursuit, it takes time for muscles and mentality to remember and improve skills. Just like I make it a priority to train for a race, I must also make it a priority to sit down, take a breath, and write. That’s the only way I’m going to improve.
Maybe someday I’ll be able to proudly ask for help: “Can you watch Baby C for the morning so I can do some writing?” I won’t be embarrassed by my need to envelop myself in words, meaning, and possibilities.
Until then, I make a plan for what I’ll write tomorrow – rain or shine.